Point of view is one of those things that sound great in theory but are horrible to do in practice. I still struggle with it, but thanks to lots of help, I have a better grasp on it.
The concept is simple. Tell the story from the point of view of one person. One POV per scene. Sounds easy, right? But wait…
This means you can only write about what the POV character can see, smell, hear, touch and sense. Everything else is out of bounds.
He can’t see through walls, or a face not turned toward him, or hear a sound in the basement when he has headphones on and the music on full blast. All that is easy to understand, but also easy to forget, especially when the plot calls for a character to witness something, but as you told it, he is not in a position to do so.
Here is where the critique group or beta readers will be worth their weight in gold. Have somebody read the finished piece for consistency, or proofread your story strictly to catch POV errors. You’ll be surprised what can creep in while you weren’t looking.
But there is even more to POV. You must write the entire scene, even the narration in the character’s POV. Let’s assume John goes to a party and sees Mary there for the first time.
John grabbed a glass off the waiter’s tray and walked to one of the tall café tables. He took a sip and set down his drink to scan the other guests. There was Bugsy, with Mary hovering by his side.
Wait. Stop. POV violation. Even if we assume John knows Bugsy, he has not met Mary yet. He does not know her name. Let’s fix that.
There was Bugsy, with a beautiful blonde hovering by his side. John watched as the woman in the skin-tight, black evening gown hooked her arm under the gangster’s. He escorted her to the bar and ordered a Blue Angel cocktail for her.
Stop. POV, again. Assuming Bugsy didn’t yell his drink order across the large, noisy room, John couldn’t have heard him.
He escorted her to the bar and waved the bartender to him. A moment later a blue drink in a cocktail glass was served to the lady. When she had taken a sip, one of Bugsy’s thugs returned from the bathroom to join his boss.
Stop. POV. You probably spotted it. John can’t know that Bugsy’s minion just came from the bathroom unless the restroom is directly off the party venue and he saw him coming out of the door. Since narration is focusing on the lady getting a drink it means John didn’t see it. Therefore, you cannot mention where the guy came from.
You see how strict and meticulous you must be to get POV right?
I still have a few points I’m fuzzy on. Let’s say John is POV character and he reacts to something he thinks he sees on somebody else’s face.
John smiled at Mary as he brought her hand to his lips. “It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Mary.” He tapped his finger next to her rhinestone-studded clutch purse on the café table. “And don’t worry.”
Mary’s eyes darted to Bugsy across the room and her face betrayed her shock. “Uh… it has been a pleasure to meet you as well.”
John cast a glance at her purse. “I won’t tell him that you lifted the envelope from his pocket if that’s what you are worried about.”
Technically, John can’t know Mary is shocked. We can’t either for that matter unless I end the scene and jump into her POV to clarify. She could be mad, angry, or have a sudden sharp pain in her foot for all we know.
However, John sees something in her face that makes him believe she is shocked he had seen her steal the envelope. He reacts to that. I suppose I should’ve written that she seemed shocked, or describe in minute detail how her jaw falls, she gasps, clutches her throat, her face drains its color, etc. but in the middle of dialogue, it would’ve disrupted the pacing, especially if I place the tension on trying to get John out of the room before Bugsy returns.
Besides, if the shocked expression only lasts for a split second and she tries to hide it, there is not much to see. You know when somebody is shocked when you look at her, but try to describe such a little twitch in a novel without making an entire paragraph out of it. If I write she twitched it can mean all kinds of things. Shocked might only be the third or fourth emotion you would think of. Now my description is too vague, and the reader is confused what just happened.
You see, I still have issues with POV.
